Eating ripe mangoes for dessert after dinner created a nostalgic feeling. My (greedy) act made me recall our old house where I grew up until I was in my third grade (or was it Grade One?).

Anyway, our old house—an underground, really—was small and very convenient. It was like one simple rectangle divided by two walls to give way to three rooms—our sari-sari store in front and along the road, our bedroom right behind it, and the kitchen at the back. Our comfort room then was like an outhouse, but only about five meters from the kitchen door.

What was striking about that previous home was how a mango tree could grow so tall and healthy with roots planted inside our store and branches sprouting out our rooftop. While our old house was quite dark and dusty, the mango tree was extra shade from the sun’s heat. We just have to bear the sounds of the fruits falling during its season or when children took the fancy of shooting down ripe fruits with their slingshots.

When I was Grade Three (as far as I could remember), we moved to a lot and house that was finally ours after dad took the responsibility—and the pains—of legalizing my mother’s land share of the family compound. We just moved to an area at the back of our old house.

That was 15 years ago. The mango tree–our mango tree, if I may say—still stands. It continues to bear fruit, although not as delicious as those produced by trees that were nurtured well.

I’m happy that the new owners of our former land, now being used as base for a car rental business, has not decided to cut down the tree despite the responsibility of having to cut some of the branches for a certain period.

For me, the tree is itself so part of the community—having lived and stood through rains, heat, and pollution for more than 15 years. Just across it is a sambag tree, which is probably about 10 years or more. Both trees continue to grow amid mankind’s cruelty.

Other old trees near our new house did not make it. We once have an eba tree, a stunted avocado tree, and a jackfruit tree in our modest garden, mostly composed of potted plants. But that area has to be plowed and the plants moved outside the gate to give way to more warehouse space (we are a dealer of San Miguel and Coca-Cola products).

My grandparents’ house, which is still standing today, used to have a garden—my garden of Eden. It has a huge garden area filled with malunggay trees, jackfruit trees, a cacao tree, some tall non-fruit bearing plants, bushes, and vines. Oftentimes, when I would visit my grandparents, I would purposely cross the garden to the front door and encounter several earthworms, frogs, and butterflies along the soft, wet path.

This is a fairly new picture since this is no longer the original garden. Despite the changes around her, my grandma continues to tend to whatever plants left for her to take care of--always with a smile. She passed away last year.

Now, thinking about that garden made me understand why my mother wants to have a garden of her own and continues to maintain her present garden of potted plants. I would want to have my own, too, when I have my own house. It would be my personal tribute to my mother and to my grandmother.

My mother and grandmother posing among their plants...

My grandparents’ garden, unfortunately, has long embraced modernization. Half of it was caught in the governments’ road widening plan. About one-fourth of it was used by my family for our sari-sari store and the rest has long been transformed into a one-storey apartment building as an added source of income for my uncle who now lives alone in my grandparents’ house.

Sad, really. I haven’t seen a real garden in my family compound in years. I haven’t seen butterflies, earthworms, and frogs ever since.

Even sadder is that our family gardens have not survived long enough for my sister and other younger members of our family to see and experience.

During the first few months of our first year together, I wasn’t in love with him and treated him more as a caring friend than a loving girlfriend. To be vague, I wasn’t as in love with him as he was with me. Most of what I could remember in our first year was getting acquainted with each other’s families, interests, friends, and daily routine, as well as defining what we would both want to happen in our relationship. As our first year drew to a close, I felt the stirrings of first love that made my insides twist and my fragile heart jump. Sort of an infatuation, I would tell myself. When I did, I would suddenly become afraid that we won’t last long being together. Later, I would know that he was thinking the same thing. Eventually, I would know that we have been thinking and feeling the same over several things. Oh, all right, you could call it soul mates, if you want. But believe me, at that time, during our first year, I was too practical and insensitive to even believe in such a crazy phenomenon.

Gambit and Rogue

In our second year, we started trading secrets and dreams and hopes of world peace and extended longer periods to talk and argue as to who would be America’s next president or when Filipino boxing champion Manny Pacquiao will finally lose. Also, I started to learn how to tease, to fight back, to open up, to have a little sense of humor, and just be human—with him, mostly. We continued to debate relentlessly over issues related to cars, driving, traffic officials, and parking tickets. Gratefully, being my best friend, he lets me win most of the time; otherwise, I wouldn’t stop. I also learned to be sweet–not really my kind of personality. He, on the other hand, gained some of my slight obsessive compulsive traits, unfortunately, such as cleaning our table at McDonald’s with fast food tissue after eating. And we would laugh about it. As our second year was about to close, I recalled the countless moments I admitted that I was finally and officially in love.

Romeo and Juliet

During our third year, we spend more and more time together, about three to four days a week from two to three days a week from the previous year. We both believe that we have to have a balanced lifestyle, lest we get choked up in our relationship that is strong with love, respect, and trust, and yet very fragile (you know what I mean). Besides, we will get to spend more time together after marriage. That’s right, the idea of marriage started to bubble up in our third year. We both know we are not both ready for it—me emotionally, him financially. While we get teased about it by friends, we laugh it out of our minds and purposely change topics. I was restless, though; the idea of marriage was not really appealing for a working woman like me. I have this strange notion that I’ll get tied to doing household chores, which I don’t like to do, and to stay at home until the life is suck out of me. He said he loves me such that he would let me do what I want even when we’ll get married. I believe him. And love him more.

Lucky to be in love with my best friend

Now… We will be closing our fourth year together on October 9. And the prospect of marriage is getting stronger by the week. We’re still not ready for a life-changing step but we are open to the idea now. I have happily and contentedly changed my priorities. I have chosen to live a future with him. But I will still work. Part of me still wants to change the world to a better place through the best way I know how—written stories. Part of me wants to buy my own cozy space and my own car. Part of me still wants to help my parents with whatever their needs are. One cannot take my independence just because I will tie the knot. Yes, in our fourth year together, although we have not made any official statement, we have decided to marry after all.

This, as we continue to talk openly, laugh heartily, argue heatedly, debate endlessly, and tease relentlessly—together.

My last real drawing was a portrait of my boss, which I gave her last Christmas when she was my manita. For that particular gift, I used the very limited charcoal pencils I still have since my first year as a civil engineering student seven years ago. I also leafed off a sheet of drawing paper from one of my two drawing books. It took me two nights before the portrait met my satisfaction. Then I bought a cheap red frame from National Bookstore to protect a creation close to my heart.

Charcoal on drawing paper (Ms. Isolde Amante, Sun.Star Cebu managing editor for news)

What I love so much about that moment when I completed the portrait was the heart-swelling thought that I could still draw after a long time. Before my boss’ picture, I completed an attempt to draw my sister about three years back. Unfortunately, I accidentally made her fat in that drawing.

Pencil on drawing paper (My sister, Glenn Sheilou)

My first real pencil portrait, I think, was during my teenage years. I drew Larisa Oleynik who is the melting Alex Mack in the popular Nickelodeon TV production entitled Alex Mack. I loved the TV series so much as a teenager such that I sent a letter to Nickelodeon, thanking them for creating the show or something to that effect. So I wonder now where that drawing is (I am not particularly good at storage keeping) and where God placed Larisa Oleynik today.

Before Larisa, I did three oil paintings–one a landscape and the rest abstracts. They were not, however, born out of original ideas; except for the colors, they were copied from a postcard and photocopied art books. Since I could not label them with proper sources, I decided not to post them here. You might as well visit my place; the abstracts are hanging on one side of our living room beside my cross-stitched school projects of religious images.

My first real exposure to painting was during the summer after my first year in high school when I enrolled in a painting class. My parents admitted me into it because the fee was cheap and the summer school was a mere three-minute drive from home. I was under the tutelage of artists Leon Aguilar and Ritchie Landis Quijano (who is now a weekly art writer for Sun.Star Cebu). The summer experience was a good memory; it boosted my love for art.

I also drew cartoon characters using oil pastels. I specifically like Dragon Ball Z characters; their cards are rampant on the streets and their pictures are simple.

Pastel on drawing paper (Dragonball Z)

Pastel on drawing paper (Dragonball Z)

Pastel on drawing paper

Colored pencils on drawing paper (incomplete)

I haven’t tried watercolors yet. I think they are the hardest medium to master. But I would like to learn how to paint butterflies and trees using them.

Sadly, I rarely draw now. I’m focusing on improving my craft as a writer. But, always and always, there is that longing to grab a pencil and trace curves of body parts or capture nature’s scenes on a drawing paper. No matter how many times I would draw in my lifetime, I know that that longing for art will never subside even after each great creation.

Pastel on drawing paper (

Since I seldom make a portrait now, I am easily attacked by pessimistic thoughts before I draw–thoughts such as: maybe I will get it all wrong, maybe I forgot how to do it, maybe… But, always and always, when I make the first stroke, these thoughts immediately turn into wisps of smoke. Time doesn’t stick anymore; only the positive energies flowing on to a piece of paper for hours.

Pen, pencil, and pentel pen on drawing paper

My silly side would calculate those long years when I was not able to draw and the numerous portraits I would have made if I did. No regrets, though. I just have to move on and try to make time to improve another skill. If writing will not work as my tool of expression during one of my excessively high or low moments, then maybe, just maybe, drawing will.

The Cebu Bloggers Society’s recent content editing seminar was both a refresher course for media practitioners and a discussion of important writing tips for bloggers.

Although the seminar, for the most part, dealt with elements commonly known to journalism, the facilitator—Lorenzo Niňal—purposely (I must say) extended those elements (objectivity, public concern, impact of story, etc.) into the realm of blogging.

Blogging, after all, starts with writing substantial content, hence highlighting a common denominator it shares with journalism. You see, both areas involve writing–whatever it is, be it a photo caption, a shout-out, a mad poem, a romantic letter, a controversial news story, or an inspiring profile written intently through a mobile device or scribbled furiously behind rummage sale receipts or fast food table napkins.

Most importantly, both journalism and blogging involves writing through a medium that reaches out thousands of people daily. That substantial audience reach alone marks the important role of both bloggers and journalists as responsible writers and editors.

And it was to stress this vital role that prompted Niňal to hand each eight of us at the seminar short notes on journalism, prod us to read and understand each line, and entertain us with stories on snakes and hopeless police blotters.

The three-hour seminar was held last Aug. 23 at the Enovlink Training Center along Osmeňa Blvd., Cebu City.

I must say Niňal was straight to the point and admitted that he knows more copy editing than content editing. Despite that, he managed to draw the somewhat thin but distinct line between the two types of editing.

One of shout-outs he made that I think we should all take to heart was for one to know the fundamentals of writing first—much better to master them—before he or she can decide to move one rung up and improve (or mess up) others’ works.

Some CMC members of Cebu Bloggers Society with Sir Niñal (Photo/FocalGlass.com)

And another thing: continue to read whatever you can find or hold on to, be it an FHM magazine or an intriguing news clip posted through Facebook. And, of course, learn from them.

P.S. Niňal, who is fondly called as Insoy by his colleagues and friends, is my Cebuano Writing teacher in college and one of the copy editors at Sun.Star Cebu. Apart from keeping a band called Missing Filemon, he also manages a non-government organization he formed called Tsinelas Association Inc.

Below are brief details about Tsinelas:

Tsinelas, formed in October 2003 and registered with SEC in February 2004, is a non-government, non-stock, non-profit organization that gives educational assistance to poor students in mountain barangays and depressed areas in Cebu.

It is composed of students, professionals, priests, seminarians, and social workers sharing a passion to be a service of others.

One of its objectives is to spend for the students’ basic school needs, school fees, uniforms, and school supplies.

Read more about Tsinelas Association Inc. here.

I received a Camma (Cebu Archdiocesan Mass Media Awards) trophy and cash prize for best in news reporting last night. How did it feel? I don’t have to point out my pair of eyebags as proof of how overwhelming it was—so overwhelming I was not able to sleep well. After all, the recognition was my first public award in my nearly three years in the print media.

I have yet to check with Ms. Cherry T. Lim, Sun.Star Cebu managing editor for features and special pages, the list of my 15 news articles she submitted to the Camma panel for judging.

During the four-hour awarding last night at the Cebu Grand Convention Center, Cebu Archbishop Ricardo Cardinal Vidal gave us all—media practitioners and users of technology—a new challenge: use the media not only to promote a global village of neighbors but also of brothers and sisters.

Press Secretary Cerge Remonde, the event’s keynote speaker, urged the media to use technology to promote dialogue and friendship.

The event’s theme was, New Technologies, New Relationships: Promoting a Culture of Respect, Dialogue, and Friendship.

The prestigious awards happen every two years.

* * *

Below are the list of some of the winners (whom I could remember and with help of online sources):

Website Category

Best Personal Website – Paulina Constancia

Best Institutional Website – Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc.

Best Corporate Website – Sun.Star Network Exchange

English Newspaper Category

Best in Special Report Writing – Sun.Star Cebu for “Squatters in the City,” by editors Cherry Ann T. Lim, Liberty A. Pinili and Mayette Q. Tabada and reporters Rene H. Martel, Linette C. Ramos and Elisabeth P. Baumgart.

Best in News Writing – Nancy R. Cudis of Sun.Star Cebu

Best in Editorial Writing – Cebu Daily News

Best in Editorial Cartooning – Cebu Daily News

Best in Column Writing – Fr. Roy Cimagala of The Freeman

Best in Feature Writing – Archie Modequillo of The Freeman

Cebuano Newspaper (Tabloid) Category

Best in Editorial Commentary – Bobby Nalzaro of Sun.Star Superbalita

Best in Editorial Reporting – Sun.Star Superbalita

Best in Editorial Cartooning – Sun.Star Superbalita

Best in Investigative Reporting – Edwin Melecio of Banat News

Best in Tabloid Reporting – Elias Bolonos of Banat News

Television Category

Best TV Magazine – Maayong Buntag Kapamilya

Best TV News Program – TV Patrol-Central Visayas

Radio Category

Best Public Affairs Program – Super Bobby Nalzaro on Board for GMA 7

Best Radio Plug – Tuko of dySS

Best Radio Drama – Sr. Inspector Bravo Salvacion of dyMF

* * *

HERE IS THE PUBLISHED STORY ABOUT THE CAMMA AWARDS—

6 of 12 Camma awards for print now with Sun.Star, Superbalita

Sun.Star Staff Reporter <> Monday, Aug. 24, 2009

BY Justin K. Vestil, Sun.Star Correspondent

SUN.STAR Cebu and Super Balita won six of 12 major awards for the print media in the Cebu Archdiocesan Mass Media Awards (Camma) held last night.

Sun.Star Cebu won the Best in Special Report Writing award for “Squatters in the City,” by editors Cherry Ann T. Lim, Liberty A. Pinili and Mayette Q. Tabada and reporters Rene H. Martel, Linette C. Ramos and Elisabeth P. Baumgart.

Reporter Nancy R. Cudis won the Best in News Writing award.

Read full story here…

For starters

I’m bored with socializing online or playing in my virtual farm or with my virtual pets through Facebook. So I resort to writing—blogging, that is—to keep myself from getting dull. Funny, since I have a job that requires writing everyday. What makes my writing job as a probable (yet to be proven) prime source of dullness is the routine in sentence structures (the lead requires quite a muscle work, though) and some stories that don’t feel. Anyway, what I really mean with writing this time is writing—straight from the gut, straight from nowhere.

Watching Bones

I didn’t expect that watching Dr. Temperance Brennan on Bones in pirated DVD could be so much on my nerves. Fun, yes. Disturbing, too, you know. It left me a sense of wanting them to all live happily ever after but, since real life sucks sometimes and since the TV series is meant to be a loyal representation of the scientific and investigative aspect of the real life, the cast couldn’t live happily ever after—not yet, I surmise (I’m a sucker for happy endings). And that’s just frustrating because, at this point, after just finishing the 15 episodes of Bones’ third season, I don’t know if everything or anything will lead to a happy end, with Zack to be admitted to a psycho-analysis type of facility for blowing up the lab, with Angela still not getting the divorce she so wanted to get legally hooked to Dr. Hodgins, with Cam doing perfectly well towards becoming a spinster, and with Dr. Brennan and Agent Seeley Booth still at an excitingly stage of denial of their feelings for each other.

Maybe there will be a happy ending part but the very dangerous natures of their jobs would demand, if I may say so, a certain tragic element in the end that would most likely turn over the hearts of the viewers, increase the fan base, and raise the ratings (although, of course, watching pirated DVDs wouldn’t help). At least, I know, as of now, that Dr. Brennan’s father won’t get hanged, that her brother still has a second shot at a good life, and that Dr. Sweets and Prosecutor Caroline are doing fantastically well some indirect matchmaking tactics to get Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth together in any way.

Bones Title Card (Source: Wikipedia)

A lesson

I first thought of Bones as just another hyped flick that involves incredibly smart “squints,” as Agent Booth would call those people at the fictional Jeffersonian Institute, and a bag of old bones that are ready to be cleaned by insects (whose scientific names I probably could not read) for further examination. But judging from the lives of the main characters, their lives are not perfect, no matter how smart or rich they are. So, in a way, the TV series in itself is a serial reminder of life’s imperfections and man’s desire to make good out of an imperfect life.

Dr. Brennan, for instance, was not able to get a Christmas tree because it was not allowed for the conjugal trailer she arranged for the imprisoned “criminal elements” of her family (that would be her dad and brother) on Christmas Eve, but Agent Booth lit up one outside the trailer with his son, Parker. And, oh boy, they talk! About anything! A relationship that talks openly and honestly would most likely–if not surely–lead to something special, if not best friendship.

About the other members of the team…Well, Dr. Zack Addy is smart, no question about that, but he could be ridiculously inhuman to understand the ways of simply living. The lab is his life, period. I was pleasantly surprised, though, that he could sing. Opera-like, at that. Cam, on the other hand, is the leader, the planner, the instructor, trying-to-be-mentor. No love life, just a cool sister and a warm loving family. Dr. Hodgins, though literally rich, is all about dirt and bugs and Angela, as Zack would rightly put it. Angela Montenegro… I just like her character—all artistic and feeling people. I think we need more of her in this world. In some episodes, I think her character as weak but she is actually the emotional support of the team.

There are so much more heartwarming episodes that would prove my point. In fact, after watching each episode, I would remember more the scenes and the practical exchange of punch lines between team members than the Bones case being tackled.

Note: Bones is an American drama television series. It premiered on Sept. 13, 2005. The show is based on forensics and police procedurals. Emily Deschanel is Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan while David Boreanaz is Special Agent Seeley Booth. The rest of the cast are Michaela Conline (Angela), T.J. Thyne (Hodgins), Eric Millegan (Zack), Tamara Taylor (Camille), and John Francis Daley (Sweets).

-By Nancy R. Cudis

-By Nancy R. Cudis

SM City Cebu is giving its shoppers more reasons to regularly visit the mall. Apart from the ample convenient parking spaces and a wide range of tenants, SM City Cebu is now equipped with wireless fidelity (Wi-Fi) connection that the management is giving to visitors and shoppers for free.

Very exciting, really, since this added customer service would allow those with Wi-Fi capable devices to conveniently access the Internet wherever they are within the mall’s premises, including the carpark.

Last week, the mall’s management launched the free Wi-Fi, simultaneously with the SM malls in Iloilo and Bacolod. This brings, as of July 31, 2009, a total of 13 SM malls nationwide with free Wi-Fi since it was first installed in SM Marikina last February. The aim of SM management is to have all the 36 SM malls in the Philippines offering free Wi-Fi service by October this year.

The unveiling of the new service in SM City Cebu was covered by various media outlets, including the Cebu Bloggers Society whose two members (Sinjin Pineda and Jose Farrugia) won contest prizes (Congratulations, guys!). The launching featured initial availability of the free Wi-Fi connection at SM City Cebu Northwing Atrium and Cyberzone. Last Tuesday, the entire mall is already covered by this new service.

You might wonder, though, the ability of the connection to accommodate a huge volume of foot traffic coming to SM City Cebu. A management-issued assurance was given: the free Wi-fi, which is provided for by Internet service provider Philippine Global Communications Inc. (PhilCom), has a bandwidth capacity of 8 mbps. This means that the service could accommodate 200 users simultaneously or approximately 1,000 users per day.

Since not all have Wi-Fi capable mobile phones and laptops (not yet, I mean) and since the average 100,000 to more than 200,000 daily foot traffic of SM City Cebu does not come all at the same time in a day, the connection would still be enough for one to access the Internet while on the go. At the same time, Internet cafe tenants like Netopia would still have the ability to accommodate shoppers who are more into gaming and who lack Wi-fi capable devices.

It’s a pretty neat set-up, especially when the free Wi-Fi in itself would attract shoppers, give them added convenience to access their Facebook counts (hehehe), increase foot traffic, grow the market for mall tenants, and potentially increase revenues for both the mall and the tenants. No matter how you turn the tables, everyone benefits.

Besides, Wi-Fi is not the only thing. SM City Cebu will open a 500-seater IMAX Theater in the fourth quarter this year. This, for sure, would be another mall project worth looking forward to.

Personally, I am curious to find out the views of SM City Cebu’s direct competitors about these new and upcoming services…. But I guess this would be another plan for another day.

This placed a smile on my face.

I remembered these 25 items from those popular and attractive notes being passed around through Facebook. Honestly, I took the bait and scribbled these things about me out of sheer desire to be understood at that time. As I was cleaning up my desktop, I came across this and decided to post this again (this time, in my blog) out of sheer hope to make you smile, the same way it did to me.

25 Random Things about Me

1. I can’t bike but I can rollerblade. Through rollerblading, I developed a childhood dream to be an iceskater or a hockey player or even a propsman on a Walt Disney show on ice—anything that has to do with skating on ice. I haven’t tried it yet. I missed the rink here but I’m saving up to go to Manila one of these days to do just that. There seems to be freedom and thrill in it, like rollerblading.

2. I wore teeth braces and back braces (scoliosis) at the same time during my first year in college (USC) for a couple of years. I lost a lot of weight because of them. I hated my teeth braces so much I had them pulled out without completing the required three years. I like wearing back braces while sleeping. Unfortunately, I’ve outgrown it and it hurts wearing them now. Getting another one would be quite expensive.

3. Despite the laughter and the smiles, I am secretly grieving (not so secret now) over loved ones who died consecutively over the past year or so.

4. I used to drink beer a lot (Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!). Red Horse, to be exact. One night, I was quite drunk but I managed to drive myself home. The next day, when I was sober, I felt stupid and afraid of what I did. I stopped drinking when I shifted to my second job. It just ended. Thinking of the taste of beer now is so yuck. I’m now a water person and a vanilla shake fan. But I miss Q Shandy!!!

5. I like air travel. The departure and the landing thrill me. I like land tips, too, as long as I’m the driver. I wouldn’t enjoy the trip if I would be a passenger. It would be even better if I’ll be driving my dream car—a black (or red) Suzuki Jimny.

6. I like children. They are so cute, although I’m pretty aware that looking after them is not so cute. I have lots of god-sons, “extended” god-daughters, nieces, and nephews over the years. They are all equally adorable. The irony of it is I just can’t imagine myself being a mother.

7. I love the comfort of being surrounded by books. My room is filled with them. My first trips in the malls, always and always, are bookshops. And one business I would like to start and manage in the future would be a cozy little bookstore.

8. I am a self-proclaimed non-practicing Catholic. I haven’t attended mass since Christmas Eve and said confession since I graduated more than three years ago. I prefer lighting candles and saying prayers in churches. Still, I remain grateful to my God and talk to Him as often as I can.

9. I always look forward to every 9th day of the month when Boboy and I would celebrate our relationship in creative ways.

10. I am in love, committed, and engaged. At the same time, I am also taking down notes and ideas I could use for my wedding (no dates yet and definitely not this year). I’m already charting our honeymoon destination (it’s hush-hush for now). I’m keeping all ears and eyes open. Visiting boutiques and looking through websites and talking to people—it’s fun, exciting, and overwhelming.

11. I would like to travel to as many places in the country as possible. I’ve been told there are so many beautiful places here. I’ve already been to one of my dream destinations–Palawan. This year, I hope to go to Butuan or any place I haven’t been to yet–there’s a lot! My ultimate dream destination is Europe. But I would like to live in Australia.

12. I love good foods that are well-presented but affordable. I also like Japanese food, Mcnuggets in McDonalds, chorizo rolls in Jonie’s, fish fillet in Sunburst, chickenjoy in Jollibee, among many others.

13. I like online shopping as well as strolling along stores, checking prices, imagining budget calculations, and making mental notes of buying them in the next payday.

14. Except for a couple of items I haven’t paid yet, I am glad that I am about 95 percent debt-free. I don’t have any credit cards or loans—not yet. I only have a savings passbook I keep feeding twice a month. I am preparing myself for a debt I will soon have—paying for my house and lot.

15. I used to be a very optimistic. I am quite pessimistic now, after some sad experiences. I am fighting to regain my optimism back, starting with having to answer Boboy everyday on what positive thing has happened to me and what positive thing I will do to address my worries and problems. It seems to be working.

16. I can’t dance, sing, and swim. But I can crochet, draw, and paint. For me, it’s still not yet too late to learn. I’ll learn them in due time.

17. A former hyperthyroidism patient, I get easily sick (vertigo and want to vomit) whenever I feel being closed in and that happens when I am in an elevator, in a huge tight crowd, closed airconditioned cars, and windowless rooms. I’m beginning to think lately that I’m claustrophobic. Then again, maybe I am.

18. I like academics and I like being in school. I like the positive energy of college students. I am planning to finish my Master’s and get a teaching position.

19. I am a collector—scaled cars, cards, blouses, books, key chains, scratch papers, etc. No wonder my room is perpetually messy.

20. In fulfillment of one of my dreams, I am writing my book entitled “Plucked Strings.” I am still on the fourth chapter. It’s an unusual kind of love story with a touch of realism.

21. I am not a romantic person. I just happen to be in love. I still find movies about love mushy and over-acting. Sorry, I can’t help it. But there a couple of favorites like A Very Long Engagement and Australia. I still go for action movies, especially with cars and powers and mutants in them. Horror movies terrify every wit in me.

22. I am a worker and a practical spender. I easily get tired if I don’t work. I believe in competition but I don’t have to live with it. I just recently acknowledged that it’s tiring to the bone. I don’t believe in branded items, either, although I respect my friends who buy them.

23. If I were a mutant, I would like to be Rogue (not the one in the movie) but the real adult Rogue in the cards who can fly after absorbing the powers of Mrs. Marvel and has very high strength and agility levels.

24. I believe in and work for world peace.

25. My dad’s the frighteningly silent type. My mom’s the colorfully noisy one. My sister’s the cool and laid back kid. I’m the hyperactive and the worrier. Still, we managed to talk out through the days. I love my family.

-By Nancy R. Cudis

(Written July 25, 2009)

I half-slept through the night, watching over my mother who is being confined in the hospital. She was admitted two nights ago; we still don’t know yet her illness. But last night, as well as in the past week, she had quite high fever, cough, no strength, throat constrictions, UTI, and she couldn’t sleep. These symptoms may or may not sound serious, but then, I am no doctor. After being admitted to North General Hospital, my mother already had lipid panel, x-ray, and 2D-Echo. We hope it is nothing serious, although she could walk around now and her fever’s down already.

My mother still couldn’t sleep and I remarked that it must be because she had so many things in mind. Within my very small family (that would include her, me, my dad, and sister), we are okay, content, and secure. The problem is, we are all worriers.

After my aunt died earlier this year, my aunt’s family has been experiencing several financial and emotional problems. And to stop ourselves from worrying too much, we help them in ways we can, including buying their multi-cab just so they won’t have to sell it cheap to others but just enough price to us.

In addition, other relatives (one of my mother’s living brothers, for instance) have been hounded by financial problems as well. It’s frustrating on my part that we have to help an able person who is either too lazy or thinks too much about being sick when he is still far from retirement age. We don’t have very nice relatives, although very few have been surprisingly helpful.

These and more family scenarios on love lost, lonely children, and revenge make up, in my opinion, one good drama movie. Our amazingly linked lives are really good sources of ideas for stories. In fact, some of them have inspired some scenes in my working novel, Plucked Strings, which tackles the possibility of love between two people who belong to the same social class but lead extremely opposite lives and personalities.

Then again, I understand privacy. There are just some things we don’t, can’t, or shouldn’t disclose to the world for the world to take against us. In the past, I have experienced that and the experience has not been pleasant. I am being careful now about sharing tidbits of my life to acquaintances, friends, and co-workers.

Life is good. I have a contented and secured one, a blessing in itself. When unpleasant things happen, my idealistic defenses would kick in. But I keep telling myself that while life is good, it is unfair. One will never know when good or bad times will hit you. He can not prepare for something that is unknown; just strengthen his coping mechanisms.

And here I am, musing over these things, grateful that my mother is getting well, so that we will soon get out of here. (I don’t like hospitals and doctors. My parents lived for the past 18 years or so being dependent on them. When my sister was younger and sicker, she had to be in and out of a hospital. Last year, my grandmother, uncle, and aunt consecutively died in a hospital. I missed all three of them, especially my lola. If asked, I believe more in natural processes than prescribed drugs for treatment. I acknowledge the competency of some doctors but since life is unfair, I also recognize the presence of some money-scheming doctors, no matter how self-righteous they may seem.)

Bottomline is, no doctor or hospital can extend our lives. It is a fact of life that we easily get sick as we grow older. But while life is unfair–filled with unpleasant relatives we could not choose–we have daily chances to see and live the good part of it.

-By Nancy R. Cudis

At dawn, I dreamed of mutants. It was dawn because I already slept an hour or so past midnight. So anyway, these mutants–they could be superheroes, for that matter, since they were a good lot trying to fight an evil flying lady of darkness. When I say a good lot, they were plenty of them–flying women, shapeshifters, men with ‘insect-like’ powers, those that creates magnetic force fields or something, you name it. It was a pretty fun dream–I would have, without a doubt, prefer it over still horrible images of decomposed bodies of children and secretive smiles of serial killers (I was watching ‘Bones’ last night).

In my dream (I’m shifting now to present tense since this would sound like a movie review), there are two ‘flying’ sisters who are as opposite as night and day. They are literally born with black and white robes, suddenly all full-grown, like butterflies. The one with a black robe wants to play (or cast evil, in that sense) with the people of the Earth. I must point out, though, that this whole scenario happens somewhere in a mountainous forest with dirt paths as roads (must be in Africa) and the people are no people at all. They have powers, only that the evil sister didn’t know that. The good one, stereotypically wearing the white robe, is aware, on the other hand, so she covenes all these mutants, including me, my best friend, and a couple of other friends (Mel, you should read this) to force some sense on the evil sister and get her to realize that the world is no playground for her power testing. We are living in a hut protected by a force field, courtesy of one of my friends. A war ensues, I remember. But…

Like almost all the other dreams I have, the latest one was cut short by loud voices in our kitchen and the church choir (one of our neighbors is a chapel belonging to a different Catholic denomination).

It was just as well…So that I can choose the ending. Of course, it would have to be world peace.