During the first few months of our first year together, I wasn’t in love with him and treated him more as a caring friend than a loving girlfriend. To be vague, I wasn’t as in love with him as he was with me. Most of what I could remember in our first year was getting acquainted with each other’s families, interests, friends, and daily routine, as well as defining what we would both want to happen in our relationship. As our first year drew to a close, I felt the stirrings of first love that made my insides twist and my fragile heart jump. Sort of an infatuation, I would tell myself. When I did, I would suddenly become afraid that we won’t last long being together. Later, I would know that he was thinking the same thing. Eventually, I would know that we have been thinking and feeling the same over several things. Oh, all right, you could call it soul mates, if you want. But believe me, at that time, during our first year, I was too practical and insensitive to even believe in such a crazy phenomenon.

Gambit and Rogue

In our second year, we started trading secrets and dreams and hopes of world peace and extended longer periods to talk and argue as to who would be America’s next president or when Filipino boxing champion Manny Pacquiao will finally lose. Also, I started to learn how to tease, to fight back, to open up, to have a little sense of humor, and just be human—with him, mostly. We continued to debate relentlessly over issues related to cars, driving, traffic officials, and parking tickets. Gratefully, being my best friend, he lets me win most of the time; otherwise, I wouldn’t stop. I also learned to be sweet–not really my kind of personality. He, on the other hand, gained some of my slight obsessive compulsive traits, unfortunately, such as cleaning our table at McDonald’s with fast food tissue after eating. And we would laugh about it. As our second year was about to close, I recalled the countless moments I admitted that I was finally and officially in love.

Romeo and Juliet

During our third year, we spend more and more time together, about three to four days a week from two to three days a week from the previous year. We both believe that we have to have a balanced lifestyle, lest we get choked up in our relationship that is strong with love, respect, and trust, and yet very fragile (you know what I mean). Besides, we will get to spend more time together after marriage. That’s right, the idea of marriage started to bubble up in our third year. We both know we are not both ready for it—me emotionally, him financially. While we get teased about it by friends, we laugh it out of our minds and purposely change topics. I was restless, though; the idea of marriage was not really appealing for a working woman like me. I have this strange notion that I’ll get tied to doing household chores, which I don’t like to do, and to stay at home until the life is suck out of me. He said he loves me such that he would let me do what I want even when we’ll get married. I believe him. And love him more.

Lucky to be in love with my best friend

Now… We will be closing our fourth year together on October 9. And the prospect of marriage is getting stronger by the week. We’re still not ready for a life-changing step but we are open to the idea now. I have happily and contentedly changed my priorities. I have chosen to live a future with him. But I will still work. Part of me still wants to change the world to a better place through the best way I know how—written stories. Part of me wants to buy my own cozy space and my own car. Part of me still wants to help my parents with whatever their needs are. One cannot take my independence just because I will tie the knot. Yes, in our fourth year together, although we have not made any official statement, we have decided to marry after all.

This, as we continue to talk openly, laugh heartily, argue heatedly, debate endlessly, and tease relentlessly—together.